RELATOS DE MICHELLE

Elektra vs. Rachel 

Mi padre organizó una lucha contra la hija de un conocido de en una habitación de motel para que sea totalmente privado.

Me preparo con el atuendo que decidí usar para esta lucha: un traje de colegiala bastante sexy, con una minifalda y una pequeña tanga negra debajo de ella

*Luego de unos cuantos minutos, llegan el otro padre con su hija de mi misma edad. Ella se prepara para luchar revelando su muy sexy atuendo

Rachel top y tanga rosa

*Decidimos que será una lucha topless, así que dejamos nuestros pechos descubiertos. Comenzamos con una prueba de fuerza, pero Rachel decide lanzar un puño a mi estomago, justo después de eso, me arroja boca abajo sobre una de las camas e inmediatamente se sube sobre mi espalda, jalandome de mi cabello en una especie de Camel Clutch

*Me quejo del dolor y trato de quitármela de encima, pero ella continúa castigandome sin piedad. Ella coloca mis brazos sobre sus rodillas para mantenerme totalmente bajo control y empieza a humillarme aún más al empezar a apretar mis pezones sin dejar de aplicar su llave de Camel Clutch.

*Luego de varios minutos, ella finalmente me deja ir. Me quedo acostada aún adolorida por el humillante castigo; Rachel me da una fuerte nalgada y me toma de los cabellos para ponerme de pie, me lleva contra una de las paredes y comienza a lanzar puños a mi estomago y también algunos rodillazos. Luego de unos minutos, me arroja de nuevo a la cama, pero con mi cabeza colgando fuera de ella, así que ella aprovecha la oportunidad y atrapa mi cabeza entre sus piernas en unas tijeretas de pie. Todo lo que veo son las nalgas de Rachel y mis manos golpeando sus muslos tratando de escapar, al mismo tiempo que mis pies golpean la cama una y otra vez desesperada por escapar. Mientras que Rachel se burla de mi y continúa el castigo a mi estomago aplicando un par de tenazas al estómago, haciendo que grite y suelte lágrimas se sufrimiento.

*Siento que me falta el aire, mis piernas se mueven poco ahora al igual que mis brazos, pero Rachel decide aflojar un poco la llave para luego abrazarme firmemente de mi cintura y con todas sus fuerzas me carga de cabeza en una posición de Tombstone Piledriver

*Mantengo mis brazos alrededor de su cintura, sintiendo como la sangre sube a mi cabeza, pero eso no es nada cuando de repente, Rachel se deja caer de rodillas, enviando mi cabeza contra el alfombrado suelo. Cayendo con mis piernas y brazos abiertos, mis ojos cerrados y mi cuerpo entero temblando. Rachel me toma de los brazos y me pone de pie sólo para dejarme acostada sobre una de las camas, ella se coloca a mis pies, sujeta mis piernas y las lleva sobre sus hombros. Decide quitarme mi minifalda, dejándome sólo en mi pequeña tanga negra

*Rachel se inclina hacia adelante, aun con mis piernas en sus hombros y con nuestras intimidades rozandose al igual que nuestros rostros al estar tan cerca. Ella empieza a empujar suavemente su intimidad contra la mía a la vez que empieza a hacer la cuenta 1...2....3!!! Justo después de terminar, abro levemente los ojos viendo los de Rachel también hasta que ella decide darme un pequeño beso en mis labios

*Estoy muy agotada y apenas logro dar suaves ruidos de quejidos por el castigo; Rachel se quita de encima y cuando lo hace, me quita mi tanga y se coloca sobre mi con uno de sus pies sobre mis labios, introduciendo algunos de sus dedos mientras mantiene sus manos en alto posando con mi tanga como premio y yo muy humillada

Elektra vs Michelle

Luego de divertirnos destruyendo a papá, Michelle y yo entramos a casa y tener una pequeña lucha amistosa una contra la otra. Pero decidimos cambiar de atuendos para hacerlo.

Michelle sólo se quitó su traje de baño y quedó en un top y su ropa interior. Me intrigó mucho, pero a la vez me gusta mucho como luce

*Ambas subimos al ring, empezamos a probar la fuerza de cada una, pero ella demuestra lo fuerte que es por la diferencia de cuerpo y atrapa mi cabeza debajo de su brazo en un candado al cuell

*Me obliga a caminar hasta una de las esquinas dejando mi espalda contra una de ellas. Michelle empieza a golpear mi estómago con sus puños, haciendo que me agache del dolor

*Ella me toma del cabello y me arroja a la esquina opuesta del ring, haciendo que mi espalda se estrelle en ella y antes de que me diera cuenta, Michelle estrella su cuerpo contra el mío, dejándome caer sentada en la esquina, con mis brazos descansando en las cuerdas inferiores

*Michelle se sujeta de las cuerdas superiores, rodea mi cabeza entre sus piernas y comienza a aplicar unas duras tijeretas. Ella sonríe al observar mi rostro muy cerca de su intimidad y como golpeó sus fuertes muslos con mis manos

*Siento como mi nariz y labios chocan contra su intimidad cubierta sólo por su ropa interior, a la vez que siento unos pequeños gemidos de Michelle. Con cada apretón de piernas de ella, siento un calor en todo mi cuerpo y una extraña pero muy familiar sensación entre mis piernas

*Ella me libera luego de un par de minutos. Me sujeta de los cabellos, me lleva al centrodel ring, mete uno de sus brazos entre mis piernas, sujetando parte de mi traje de baño y mi nalga y me carga para luego azotarme contra la lona

*Me quedo adolorida por tal movimiento, sin embargo, no logro descansar lo suficiente, porque Michelle una vez más lo hace

*Luego de azotarme por segunda vez, ella me deja boca arriba y decide acostarse encima de mi pero en posiciones opuestas. Ella rodea una vez más mi cabeza entre sus piernas y todo lo que logro ver son sus nalgas

*Michelle empieza a apretar sus muslos y observo como sus nalgas se tensan al hacerlo. A pesar del sufrimiento, me gusta mucho la vista de mi posición y una vez más comienzo a sentir ese calor entre mis piernas

*Mis piernas se cruzan al sentir una vez más esa nueva sensación, pero Michelle las separa a ambas y decide acercar su rostro a mi entrepierna lentamente. Ella aprieta sus piernas en mi cabeza una vez más, provocando que mi cuerpo eleve la parte de mi entrepierna como una reacción al dolor y al hacerlo, Michelle coloca sus labios muy cerca de mi intimidad

*Al sentir ese "beso" lanzo un pequeño pero fuerte gemido, sintiendo otra sensación en mi pecho, pero Michelle también logra sentirlo en sus muslos, por lo que se quita de encima y se pone de rodillas junto a mi

*Estoy muy agotada, mi cuerpo se siente totalmente acalorado y Michelle quita el cabello de mi rostro. Pero una de sus manos continúa bajando hasta llegar a mi pecho, donde empieza a acariciar uno de mis pezones que sobresalende la tela de mi traje de baño. Estoy tan avergonzada

*Michelle sonríe y decide sentarme y ella se sienta detrás de mi, pero inmediatamente rodea mi cuello con sus brazos en una llave dormilona. Empiezo a sentir como el aire deja de fluir, así que comienzo a palmar su brazo en señal de rendición. Michelle afloja a medias la llave con un brazo, pero el otro se dirige a mis pechos; donde a pesar de haber sido castigada luchando, aún estaban endurecidos. Ella los acaricia suavemente, provocando que cierre los ojos, mientras que ella besa con suavidad mis mejillas.

*Luego de unos minutos de una extraña, pero muy intensa lucha, Michelle decide dejarme libre, pero no sin antes darme un pequeño y suave beso a mis labios y así ella se retira dejándome muy confundida en medio del ring.

Elektra vs Lilly

Esta noche iré a participar en una lucha por apuestas. Pero temo que este combate no será muy sencillo de ganar. Entramos con papá y vemos a muchos padres de la escuela preparados para presenciar mi lucha contra Lilly

El encuentro será sobre unas colchonetas azules y nuestros atuendos serán bikinis. Me pongo de pie mostrando mi bikini amarillo y me quito los leggings frente a todos. Mientras que Lilly se para en las colchonetas frente a mi y quitándose sólo su camiseta para mostrar un bikini similar al mío

*Tocan la campana y empezamos a hacer una prueba de fuerza. Afortunadamente, logro derribarla y colocarme sobre ella

*Pero ella consigue sujetar mi brazo en una dura llave de rendición. Empezamos a girar una sobre la otra hasta que logré escapar de esa sorpresiva llave

*Ella intenta ponerse detrás de mí y atraparme en una llave dormilona, siento su brazo rodeando mi cuello y como todo el público la alienta para acabarme

*Logro sujetarla del cabello y arrojarla por encima de mi y al momento que ella cae delante de mí, atrapo su cabeza entre mis piernas en unas fuertes tijeretas. Lilly empieza a moverse de un lado a otro buscando escapar

*Aprieto fuertemente su cabeza entre mis muslos, pero ella logra escapar luego de casi un minuto y se arroja sobre mi y ambas empezamos a rodar alrededor de todas las colchonetas

*Lilly atrapa mi cabeza una vez más en una llave dormilona, pero esta vez logra sujetarse con fuerza y siento como el aire no llega a mí. Todos en el público creen que ella me ganará, pero intento levantarme con todas mis fuerzas para luego ponerme de pie y a pesar de que Lilly aún me asfixia, me dejo caer de espaldas pero aplastandola a ella y obligandola a soltarme.

*Lilly no soportó la caida y decido aprovechar el momento para tomarla del cabello, ponerla de pie, meter mi brazo entre sus piernas para levantarla y azotarla contra la colchoneta. Ese movimiento me deja exhausta, pero Lilly lo sufrió aún más, así que con la poca energía que me queda, la dejo boca abajo, le sujeto ambos brazos, enredo mis piernas con las de ella y empiezo a aplicar una dolorosa llave tapatía.

*Lilly comienza a gemir del dolor y casi un minuto después, empieza a gritar "Me rindo! Me rindo! Me duele mucho!" Hacen sonar la campana y finalmente dejo ir a Lilly. Ambas sudando y agotadas sobre las colchonetas, pero papá me ayuda a ponerme de pie y me hace quitarle todo el bikini a Lilly, dejándola totalmente desnuda.

*Cómo última humillación, decido asfixiarla usando su bikini, dejando su cuerpo inconsciente boca arriba mientras que posó con su bikini en mis manos y uno de mis pies sobre sus labios.

Elektra vs Reggie

Programaron una nueva lucha clandestina en mi escuela, y esta vez deberé luchar contra una de las favoritas. Intentaré dar lo mejor de mi para demostrar que soy suficientemente fuerte

*nos encontramos en el gimnasio de la escuela, hay muchos padres alrededor de las colchonetas azules y observo a mi oponente

Reggie 15 años, bikini tanga verde

*Ella se ve muy fuerte y bastante atlética a comparación de mi. Ella es una de las mejores nadadoras de la escuela y tiene más apoyo

*Nos vemos frente a frente, hacen sonar una campana y empezamos con una prueba de fuerza. Ella rápidamente lleva sus brazos a mi cabeza y me aplica un candado al cuello, logrando rápidamente derribarme y tenerme bajo control

*Trato de quitarme su brazo, pero ella aprieta aún más fuerte, haciendo que mis pies golpeen contra la colchoneta

*Casi todos apoyan a Reggie y me molesta mucho. Ella nos pone de pie y me lleva de los cabellos al medio de las colchonetas, golpea mi vientre con su rodilla, haciendo que me agache de dolor.

*Ella coloca uno de sus brazos entre mis piernas y el otro sobre mi hombro, me carga con bastante facilidad, todos se sorprenden y luego de unos segundos, me azota en un duro bodyslam. Me quedo acostada con una mano en mi espalda tratando de aliviar el dolor

*Ella se sienta junto a mi cabeza y la atrapa entre sus piernas, aplicando una muy dura tijereta. Intento quitar sus fuertes piernas de ahí, pero es muy difícil. Ella empieza a apretar y al mismo tiempo, golpea mi estómago con uno de sus puños, haciendo que gima fuertemente del dolor

*Me mantiene atrapada así por varios minutos hasta que me libera, me coloca boca abajo, se sienta en mi espalda baja, coloca mis brazos sobre sus rodillas y empieza a aplicar un muy fuerte Camel Clutch, me hace gritar de sufrimiento y dolor

*Ella se ríe de mi sufrimiento y los padres continúan apoyandola. Ella finalmente me suelta luego de varios minutos, pero esta vez sujeta mis brazos con sus manos y atrapando mis piernas, ella se deja caer para luego aplicar una muy dura llave Cavernaria

*Estoy llorando de dolor, me preguntan si me rindo y casi de inmediato digo entre lágrimas "Si! Si! Ya me rindo!" Pero Reggie continúa castigandome

*Luego de casi 2 minutos, finalmente me libera. A ella la anuncian como la ganadora, dejándome a mi boca abajo y derrotada. Sin embargo, ella decide quitarme mi bikini, dejándome desnuda boca abajo mientras ella levanta mi bikini como trofeo

El castigo de Elektra

Mi nombre es Elektra, tengo 15 años y me metí en problemas por no haber hecho caso a mis padres. Ahora papá quiere darme una lección de la mejor manera que él sabe: en una lucha libre

*Ya estoy preparada para demostrar que no me vencerá fácilmente y que no dejaré que me siga dando órdenes

*Ya me puse mi traje de baño y mis botas de luchadora para que no luzca como una amateur

*nos encontramos en el centro de las colchonetas para que demos inicio a nuestro encuentro

*Acordamos en que si yo lograba vencerlo, no me castigará nunca más, así que estoy lista para ganar

                                                   

*Comenzamos a luchar e iniciamos con una prueba de fuerza, pero casi inmediatamente me domina aplicando una quebradora con su rodilla. Me mantiene allí y golpea mi vientre varias veces haciéndome sufrir

*Luego de castigar duramente mi espalda, decide ir por una llave aún más dolorosa. Me sujeta de ambos brazos y piernas para luego elevarme con facilidad aplicando una muy dolorosa tapatía por un par de largos y agonizantes minutos

*Decide soltarme y dejarme boca abajo quejándome del dolor.

- Aprenderás a respetar a papá?

*Él dice burlándose mientras me da una nalgada aprovechando que aún estoy boca abajo

*Decide continuar el duro castigo colocandome una vez más boca arriba mientras sostiene mis piernas, pero de inmediato empieza a enredar sus piernas con la mía aplicando una dura figura 4

*Mis gritos de dolor son más fuertes, pidiendo por favor que me sueltes y dejes ir

- Ahhhh!!! Ya! Basta! Me duele!

- Acaso te rindes? Vamos! Quiero escucharte decirlo!

- Ay!! Ay!! Me rindo! Me rindo!

*Él me suelta casi luego de otro minuto, se pone de pie y me toma del cabello para ponerme de pie

- Fuiste una niña muy irrespetuosa, así que te enseñaré una última lección para que aprendas

*Me lleva, aún sujetando mi cabello, hasta un ring. Me sujeta de la parte trasera de mi bikini y de mi cabello para meterme dentro

*Entro rodando y me quedo de manos y rodillas, muy agotada

*Él entra y en el centro del ring me carga de cabeza en posición de un Tombstone Piledriver

- Algo que quieras decir, hijita?

- Lo.. lo siento papá!

*Noto que su miembro está un poco más crecido dentro de su speedo, pero casi de inmediato lleva mi cabeza duramente contra la lona.

Totalmente inconsciente

*Él separa mis brazos, sujeta una de mis piernas y empieza a contar

- 1...2...3!!! Buena suerte la próxima, pequeña zorrita

*Él suelta mi pierna para luego sentarse sobre mi pecho, con su miembro cubierto por su speedo rozando mis labios mientras flexiona su fuertes brazos y atrapa mi cara entre sus piernas.

*Bajamos del ring, pero él cargando mi inconsciente cuerpo sobre su hombro

- Espera a que mamá te dé otra lección en casa

*Dice mientras me nalguea y atravesamos una puerta



FIN

La venganza de Elektra

Es un lindo día de piscina en la quinta familiar. Así que aprovecharé esta oportunidad para tomar venganza contra papá por haberme castigado tan duramente en la lucha pasada. Lo voy a sorprender cuando decida tomar sol.

Para que logre divertirme como deseo, invité a una amiga del club de natación. Ella también es una gran aficionada de la lucha libre y está encantada en ayudarme. Su nombre es Michelle y tiene 23 años, vistiendo su traje de baño

*Nos divertimos en la piscina jugando con los balones y otras cosas Hasta que vemos que papá se acerca a nosotras mientras viste su speedo rojo

*nos dice que tomara una pequeña siesta mientras toma sol lejos de la piscina. Se burla de mi presumiendo que me venció fácilmente en una lucha y provoca a Michelle diciendo que a ella también podría vencerla

*Michelle y yo cruzamos miradas poniéndonos de acuerdo en que pronto lo dominaremos

*Luego de varios minutos, salimos de la piscina y nos acercamos a papá y notamos que está totalmente dormido

*Michelle se aproxima silenciosamente a él y usando un antifaz, se coloca sobre su cabeza mientras que yo voy directamente a sus piernas. Inmediatamente enredo mis piernas con las de él, mientras que Michelle atrapa su cabeza entre sus fuertes piernas de nadadora profesional

*Él se despierta al instante que ambas lo atrapamos bajo nuestras llaves de piernas. Él trata de separar las piernas de Michelle, pero ella sólo aprieta aún más y yo comienzo a dar golpes en su estómago mientras aprieto aún más la figura 4

*Él empieza a golpear desesperadamente los muslos de Michelle con las palmas de sus manos. Diciendo una y otra vez que se rendía. Pero ni ella ni yo pensábamos en dejarlo ir.

*Luego de varios minutos, decidimos realizar unas cuantas llaves más y decidimos dejarlo boca abajo mientras sufre por tanto dolor en piernas y cabeza

*Decidimos cambiar de posición, ahora Michelle está en las piernas de papá, mientras que yo estoy cerca de su cabeza. Ella se sienta encima de su espalda baja, sujetando sus piernas debajo de sus axilas para empezar a aplicar una llave de cangrejo.

*Papá empieza a quejarse del dolor mientras que yo lo callo al meter mi pie dentro de su boca

*Siento mis dedos empaparse por su saliva y también un poco su lengua tocandolos, mientras que Michelle decide soltar una de su piernas y empieza a apretar su miembro a través de su speedo usando su mano

*Quito mi pie e inmediatamente me subo sobre papá. Mi espalda se encuentra contra la de Michelle mientras que empiezo a aplicar una llave de a caballo, con los brazos de él sobre mis rodillas y mis manos jalando su cabeza

*Michelle y yo nos reímos y burlamos de él, así que decido meter mis manos dentro de la boca de él para jalar fuertemente de forma de anzuelo. Con balbuceos, él continúa diciendo que se rinde y que lo dejemos en paz. Pero ella y yo tenemos una cosa más en mente.

*Luego de varios minutos de tortura, decidimos soltarlo y lo dejamos boca arriba. Observo a Michelle muy contenta y noto que en sus pechos, sobresalen un poco sus pezones; pero decido pensar en eso luego y le pido a ella que se siente sobre el rostro de papá mientras le sujeta sus piernas bajo sus axilas, para que yo aproveche y empiece a pisotear su entrepierna una y otra vez

*Sus quejidos de sufrimiento son callados por las nalgas de Michelle en su rostro. Comienzo a mantener mi pie sobre la hombría y testículos de él, notando que al hacerlo, su miembro crece poco a poco, pero que también siento como mis pezones se endurecen contra la tela del traje de baño

*Los dedos de mi pie intentan apretar aún más su entrepierna y decido pisarlo fuertemente una última vez. Le pido a Michelle que lo suelte y ella deja ir sus piernas y se pone de pie junto a mi. Ella mira cómo sufre y ambas nos burlamos

*Colocamos un pie cada una sobre su destrozada entrepierna y flexionamos nuestros brazos como pose de victoria

*Nos retiramos tomadas de la mano de ahí dejando a papá sujetando su entrepierna

COMBATIVE WOMENS' WEBSITE TRIBUTE (English)

 

https://web.archive.org/web/20210214085229/https://sites.google.com/site/combativewomen/

In 1992 the world of female vs female recreational combat was changed forever by a site created by a woman, for women, about women wrestling women. This site is intended to be a perminant marker of the information contained in that website at the time it was taken down in the Fall of 2006. This is for you, Barbara.

Doing

In this section Barb gave guidance to women interested in fighting. She even gave a little advice to men who wished their wives and girlfriends would give it a try. 

Introduction

In a world filled with taboos, misinformation, fantasy posing as reality and frauds posing as potential opponents, you have a right to a place where you can learn about how real women really wrestle safely and enjoyably.

That's the purpose of this section which is prepared entirely by combative women.

It's is a "tutorial" about how to actually go about wrestling other women: getting opponents, setting up matches, rules for various types of matches, conduct guidelines, doing scenes, security and safety precautions and even how a man can involve his mate in wrestling.

This "tutorial" comprised most of the original Combative Woman's Web Site when it was first launched about seven years ago. It is still the only primer of its kind on the Internet.

An important note here: while our site supports many forms of female combative activity (including organized sports), this tutorial is designed for the "recreational wrestler": a woman who does it only for fun, usually in the privacy of a home, in front of a select and usually small group of observers. It's a past-time, hobby or fun activity for her.

For the record, we coined the phrase "recreational wrestler" because, to be honest, there was no definition for what we do or niche for us. Okay? Now, before we start...

A frequent question:

Why would a woman wrestle another woman?

On its face, the question appears pregnant with sexism. I mean, hell, why would a man wrestle another man, right? But we know that answer is disingenuous. The sexism encased in the question affects all of us and, because we're exposed to that sexism from birth, we simply have to buy into some of it on some level.

We're taught to not fight, to not use our strength, not to compete physically or even to exert ourselves, to never sweat or grunt in public, to not expose our bodies against the bodies of other women.

We're taught that women who do that are crazy, or "low", or "perverted". Those aren't easy biases to confront and overcome for any woman. Girlfriend, put the cards on the table, it's not easy for most of us to fight.

Those who do it cite many reasons. Exercise or fun, their own needs (including sexual), or the needs of partners (often sexual). Usually, like so much in life, it's a combination of these and all of them, including the last, are very good reasons. There's nothing wrong with two women getting together to do what they want safely and enjoyably no matter the reason.

In fact, I think it's especially wonderful if your wrestling turns your mate on. A couple that shares common sexual interests and can meet each other's sexual needs is very lucky indeed.

But in the end, it's about you and what YOU want to do. Do NOTHING in this world than you don't want to do. And the moment it stops being fun, drop it...no matter what you think might be the impact on a relationship.

For most women, this means that you need to feel comfortable and safe and confident when you go into a match (particularly when you're first getting started). That's the reason for this section.

I would suggest going through the primer sequentially and thoroughly. Just click on the left to follow the themes as I've organized them. :-) 

Definitions

If you're interested in doing "this", maybe we should define what "this" is.

...an athletic competition in which two people attempt to render each other incapable of movement either by pinning the opponent's shoulders to the surface or forcing her to submit.

Wrestling is fighting without blows: grappling with rules.

You've done it. Maybe it was some horsing around with a girlfriend or your sister or cousin when you were younger. Or maybe you've actually been in a fight or two (it does happen).

Wrestling is a natural reaction to being restrained.

Contrary to what many people think, women have wrestled and fought for as long as recorded history and we take up some of that herstory in the appropriate section of this site. I encourage you to take a look -- just for some historical background and to get a feeling that you're "not alone".

And you're not. Today, thousands of women in this country wrestle each other in private for recreation. Hundreds wrestle in tournaments and public match situations. And the number, in both scenarios, is growing. In fact, wrestling networks and directories have hundreds of women subscribers who advertise for matches and issue and accept challenges and our own Ladies Corner has a long list of real, voice-verified women looking for matches.

There's no question that this is an outgrowth of the increasing confidence and independence that women feel and enjoy in a society changed dramatically by feminist thinking and movements. It's been accelerated by the development of female body-building, by the increasing interest in body toning and aerobics, the opening to women of all kinds of sports, and, of course, by changes in sexual mores.

It's fun. It's done. It's safe. And it IS natural no matter what people may tell you. If you're intrigued by it or actually want to do it, you must understand that you're not alone and that normal women, with jobs, kids, families and everything else we shoulder in this society, do it a lot and look for other with whom to do it.

Let me say something up front. There are some people who think it's strange or even sick for women to want to wrestle other women. There's a real simple answer: is it either sick or strange for men to wrestle? Some tell men who like to watch women wrestle that their interest is sick or strange. There's a simple answer: Why? But the more important issue is that this is not your problem because you're a woman and nobody on earth should be telling you should not try a harmless and fun and interesting activity because of your sex. :-)

Lots of women do straight wrestling as described above but there are many tangents to it, as diverse as people's imagination. Still, because I'm not writing a whole book here, I'll divide them into two general categories: catfighting and sexfighting.

...is a sexist, derogatory term describing a brawl between two women. The very word conjures up an image of a frenzied, out of control fight with nails used as principle weapons and the fighters are mere animals.

But, like many terms of injustice, the term has been appropriated by combative women to mean something else entirely.

Read carefully now because a lot of people still don't "get" this: the "catfighting" we are referring to is "rules catfighting" and it has a long and treasured place in the history of female combative activities. It is really nothing more than a wrestling match in which the women are allowed to use certain pain-oriented techniques such as hair-pulling, breast grabbing, and slapping.

A rules catfight is PART of recreational wrestling.

While the term, in popular parlance, may mean a brawl and the rules in OUR world may be designed to simulate such an affair, rules catfights strictly prohibit punching, scratching, choking or biting. In short, they're rough but not dangerous and the rules are set up to prevent any injury of any kind.

Catfights are usually continued until a submission.

...also called erotic wrestling, "adult fighting", or "sexfighting", is actually a wide variety of encounters -- some competitive, some basically sex. While some "purists" may quibble with me, the fact is that erotic combat is quite popular and, in fact, many women who wrestle seriously also do erotic fighting matches occasionally (or more often than that).

The most popular form of sex fight is a wrestling match in which the women are allowed to touch each other sexually, particularly in the crotch area. For the most part, in safe competition, this involves rubbing with the hand or another body part. In other words, you're fighting but you are also allowed to manipulate that part of the body either to distract the opponent or to actually bring her to orgasm.

There are also forms of sexfighting which don't involve much combat -- they are more "competitive sex" in which the opponents allow each other to use sexual techniques and the woman who "comes" first loses.

Finally, there is a very popular kind of wrestling called "face straddle" or "face sitting" submission wrestling. This involves a match which ends with one opponent straddling the other. While this sometimes stops immediately with a submission (which makes it non-sexual), it can involve the loser bringing the victor to orgasm.

That is by consent and that's a great segue to the golden rule section.

Golden Rule

Everything must be consensual.

This is THE cardinal rule for all combative women and all of them, especially the most experienced, will attest to that simple fact. It's a rule that emanates from the very philosophy of female recreational wrestling and there is NEVER an exception to it.

You may get pressure from mates or observers to do something that fulfills a fantasy or seems, to them, natural, normal or exciting in some way. You must resist that pressure; in fact, you should verbally and clearly reject it. The point to make to everyone who will observer a match is that the women who are doing the match MUST be in control of everything.

Philosophically this makes sense when you think about why you're wrestling. You have here an opportunity to stretch yourself and do something that society often tells us we can't do -- use your strength in a one on one competition with a member of our sex who is about as strong as you are. The possibilities are exciting here and you'll see, once you try it, how it really does change your own feelings about yourself and what you can do. It can actually change your life!

But that potential will be frustrated if you aren't in control. If you're acting like a puppet in someone else's fantasy theatre, you aren't going to feel as good about yourself as a result of this experience. Again, that's not to say it's not satisfying to fulfill your mate's fantasies: I know it IS very satisfying. But you need to do that on YOUR terms and doing only what YOU and your opponent are willing to do. You're doing this for yourselves -- the enjoyment of others is a wonderful by-product but only that. :-)

Soooooo.... Before you fight another woman, be clear about what you will do to each other, be sure that is acceptable to both, respect those limits in negotiatiing the match and respect them during the match. NEVER do something to someone unless you are sure she is willing.

This doesn't mean you have to discuss headlocks in a wrestling match. Much is understood before you even talk. But, for example, never pull hair unless you've agreed to it and never ever eroticize a fight unless you have both agreed to do so.

This is critical if a wrestling match or catfight is going to be enjoyable for both participants. The only people who like to do things to people without consent are abusive people. And they have nothing to do with what we are talking about here and you should have nothing to do with them.

This is a theme that runs throughout this entire site because it's fundamental to the mutural respect two women should have for each other and the respect from others they deserve.

Combative Attitude

I have never fought a woman I didn't like...at least a bit. LOL

That may seem a strange statement because we are taught that "fighting" is something you do in anger or with foul purpose. But trust me, you'll understand what I mean the very first time you wrestle another woman. The experience of sharing the nervousness, excitement, physical challenge and adventure is really a "binding" experience for women and you are probably going to feel a real kinship with your opponent.

THAT is not the problem for most of us. The problem is actually fighting her. Because there is a bottom line and we might as well make it clear up front:

Combative women fight other combative women and we fight to win.

We do for fun because it IS fun, a lot of fun. We do it respectfully and safely and out of friendship because the experience makes us grow and we can't have that experience without our opponents. We care about our opponents' safety and feelings because, as opponents, they are our girlfriends -- not our enemies. And we make a bond with them because, as they help us grow and enjoy what we're doing, we do the same for them.

But, for that to happen, we have to try to beat them! And that's what this section is about.

When you do your first match, you're going to be nervous as hell. This will not change for a while. Not only is this a new experience and a potentially exciting one but it's one you've probably pictured in your mind for some time and you're just not sure how it will actually play out.

For women, one of the main issues is our programmed difficulty in actually "fighting" someone we're not angry with and our fear of provoking anger or bad feelings in another woman.

How "heavy" should I get? Where do I grab her? How rough is too rough? Will she be embarassed if I beat her? Will I if she beats me?

These are not minor issues. They are significant feelings for you personally and in the context of relationships among women and it's good that they are coming up. You're not rivals or enemies. Women are trained to be careful about the feelings of the other woman. After all, we are concerned about our feelings and how she treats us, no?

This is the first place where an important attitude shift must occur. Girlfriend, remember why you're there: you are getting together to compete physically and to explore what that means for each of you.

Wrestling is just fun, of course, but it can also be a deepening experience for you: you're using muscles in ways most women don't, you are struggling against a person who is about as strong as you. You're not "fighting back" against an attacker here -- you are attacking as well. The goal is no longer "survival" or getting away as in a physical attack from a man; the goal here is to beat her.

The important thing is to convince yourself of a simple fact: SHE wants you to try to beat her. Because if you don't, you are cheating her out of the full extent of self-exploration available during a match. How is she going to really test herself or experience these new emotions and feelings and physical stresses unless you're really posing a challenge to her.

In the real world, you are both going to feel some pressure possibly from your men or other observers. You may be encourage to engage in some kind of fantasy during the match which involves restraining yourselves and "not really fighting hard" or "letting her win", etc.

All of us have had these pressures and they must be rejected out of hand. That's not the say that you go in there to do anything to win. That's why we establish the rules we'll talk about later but, after you've set the rules, try as hard as you can within them.

Essentially, the rule for combative women is to be respectful and sensitive in setting up a match and after it and fighting within the rules with everything you have to beat her during the match.

While this may seem harsh or insensitive to her (or to you, if you lose), it is really the highest form of respect and support for her. You're giving her something that will let her achieve her goal and let her grow. And she is doing the same for you. You will NOT enjoy a match in which one of you isn't trying hard.

The pic on the right is worth a thousand words: Kritza and Melanie of DWW have just ended a really rough and tumble battle and here's THEIR reaction.

So...fight! Grab her wherever you can, struggle to get her down, struggle to stay on top of her, fight hard to hold her in place, fight like hell to get out of her holds. Push, pull, roll, grab and hold. Don't be afraid to hurt her. Unless you are much more experienced than she or much bigger, you won't.

If you think she's "tanking" (holding back), whisper to her to try harder. Just do it. If she's experienced, she'll know how much and what to do to really give you a fight without hurting you. If she's as experienced as you are, then there's no problem with trying.

In short, you should never be afraid to wrestle hard and wrestle to win. She will do the same and, win or lose, each of you will emerge feeling that you've had fun and that, in a small way perhaps, your world is a slightly different place.

Setting It Up

Perhaps the most difficult part of this for women is finding other women to wrestle. While its popularity has grown, wrestling is still NOT the favored sports activity for women and many of us feel shy, intimidated, or confused by it.

If you find a friend who is willing to try it or a sister or cousin who is willing to "do you the favor", you're lucky. Most of us must find opponents in other ways and this is where the terrain may become a bit precarious.

The main problem is that the "woman" whom you are contacting could be a man, or a crazy person, or just somebody who's not serious. The latter is a waste of time; the two former could pose real danger.

So you have to "screen" opponents and the best way to initially find them is through one of the accepted directories such as Am-Fem (the International Directory of Female Fighting) or AFWG (the Amateur Female Wrestling Group), whose address is listed in Am-Fem. Both directories are full of potential opponents' ads.

While I'm at it, you could join the dozens of women in the Combative Woman's Web Site's Ladies Corner. All those women are, at least, women: I know because I voice verify each and every one.

None of this is foolproof, of course, but all three are excellent initial screens. By the way, do NOT use an on-line service like AOL for attracting potential opponents. AOL is a poser's paradise and, while I have actually met several real women (including four Ladies Corner members) on AOL, that would represent less than a percent of the "women" who frequent the wrestling chat rooms. Don't waste your time -- stick to the authoritative sources.

So what SHOULD you do? Good question...

First Stage: Mail

The first rule is to use one of these sources, browse them for people near you with your interests and get in touch. For the on-line lists, you can email but the directories require a written communication.

Your letter should be simple: your interests, physical size, and your experience level. Be short, cordial, and respectful. Do NOT include a photo yet.

As your return address, use something secure. A mailbox is best. On line, use a generic provider like Hotmail for the initial contact. Try not to use your home or your real email address...you can give those when you've received an acceptable response.

When you receive the response, read it carefully. It's your first screen.

Does it seem like a woman? Is she really talking to you or just babbling about her "past fights" or the damage she does to opponents? Is she open and cordial or overly competitive and threatening? Do her self-references sound like a woman's or does she spend a lot of time talking about her breast size or describing herself as "looking like" some movie star?

I mean, listen girlfriend, do you know any REAL women who describe themselves to other women that way?

Screen especially for overtly sexual descriptions, very violent anecdotes or hostile language or tone. These are all indications that the person is a man.

If the response feels right, write back going into more detail and responding to her questions (an experienced wrestler will ask several about your style and experience, for instance).

Offer to mail a photo of yourself if none was including in HER response but just offer an exchange of photos. Do NOT send one yet. If she sent a photo that appears authentic, send yours back.

A word on photos: some wrestlers send pretty revealing photos but almost no real wrestler sends a nude photo. The reason for bikini photos is to show actual size and physicality since statistics don't tell the whole story. After all, you want to know if you're going to wrestle a world class body builder or someone who's out of shape, etc. BUT, you don't have to show that much -- although what's it matter if you look like Raven on the right (I sure don't!)?

Watch out for photos that seem professionally posed -- photos with very alluring facial expressions or overtly sexual content. Also watch for "model indicators" like perfect hair, perfect body proportions, extremely unique background scenes...stuff like that. While this doesn't mean the person is a fraud, it should raise a red flag and provoke questions from you about where this was shot and was it professionally done.

You don't have to send back a revealing photo; just make sure it's a full body photo which reveals what you look like. You can screen out the face if you'd like. She's going to grapple with your body, not your cheekbones.

One neat trick for photo verification is to exchange photos and then do it again and this time have the opponent put YOUR photo in hers and vice versa. That's illustrated in the photo to the right. After one exchange of photos with a Ladies Corner member in preparation for a match, I put the challenger's verification photo in this one and sent it back. It's tough to see here but I'm sitting on the photo. It was actually a joke -- you can imagine what the accompanying email said. LOL

Second stage: Phone

Listen! Always and I mean always, talk to potential opponents by phone before even thinking about meeting them.

After you've seen the photos and are comfortable, offer a phone conversation. You can offer to call her or provide some safe number that isn't your home or work. Give a specific time to call or ask for one.

Insist that you talk first to the woman and, when you make the call, follow that rule. Do NOT talk to men on the phone before speaking with the woman! DON'T DO THAT. If a guy answers (and that's perfectly understandable since many women live with men, right?) he will know not to start asking you a bunch of questions. Combative women are clear about this with our men -- we talk to the woman first and there's no exception.

In this conversation, be friendly and respectful and cover all the ground we mention in the rules section (which you may not have reached yet...but be patient).

After your phone chat you should be able to picture what the match will be like and who will be there and you should have some idea of the potential opponent's personality -- sense of humor, background, life-style. Not to suggest that you grill the poor woman; but actually chat with her. Don't just go through rules like a question and answer session -- talk about "stuff" as well.

Your opponent should be ready and open to talk in general about background and other matters not specifically related to wrestling. You're a woman, not a promoter; have a normal conversation.

After you've chatted with her some, you can invite her to put her mate on and talk with him/her. You should quickly go over the rules with this person and try to get a feel about his/her attitude: Does the person seem boastful about the fighter? Disdainful or disrespectful of you? Vindictive? Domineering? Challenging? Threatening? Does HE talk about her past opponents or matches and what tone does he adopt? Is he nasty toward past opponents, for instance. How does he refer to other women (does he use derogatory words?) How does he seem to relate to her? Is the attitude caring or disdainful?

All of this is important because, even if you like HER, you have to ask what she's doing with a jerk and how that will affect her actions. You know what makes you uncomfortable and, if anything does, go on to someone else.

If everything's cool, talk about a personal meeting in public.

Third Stage: Contact

The public meeting can take place some days before an actual match or immediately before it. But you MUST do it because a closed room is NOT the place to suddenly realize you're with a nut case. The meeting should be in a public place (for instance, over coffee or a drink) and should start only with you two. The guys can join you later.

Set it up and attend it. Dress as you do for a "lunch date" or whatever and act as you would in that circumstance: cordial, open and respectful.

At the public meeting, your goal is to get to know this person a bit NOT to egg her on. She'll be ready for the fight when it comes -- you don't have to psyche her up.

Is she friendly, does she appear sane, is she flexible about rules, is she specific and concrete or is she vague about anything? Basically, are YOU comfortable with her?

Again, have the mates or observers join you at some point and just chat about stuff. In general, it's advisable to steer clear of talking about the match itself with the mates. Just get a feel for chemistry. You don't have to be buddies but you should get a comfortable feeling of cordiality and respect. You should FEEL safe.

Finale!

Go the venue for the match and fight. Have fun. Giggle. Laugh. Struggle. Sweat. Enjoy yourself.

Anyway, you've earned some fun after all this crap! But, for god's sake, girlfriend...try to keep away from those body scissors! (These kids never listen!!!) LOL

The Rules

Every match has its "rules" and you and your opponent should decide on those. This section treats, not so much specific action rules, but guidelines you should follow based on common sense and the traditions passed down by combative women.

There are probably some variations out there but the combative women we all consider our "role models" (people like Joan Wise, Beatrice Goffin and Judell Dulong) follow these "rules" in real life and have trained many many women to do the same.

... Conduct before, during and after

Be cordial and respectful at all times unless you're in a fantasy scene which has been agreed to beforehand.

Do NOT punch, scratch, choke, gouge, bite, kick, or use any other move than could cause permanent injury or permanent marks.

Always have at least one observer in the room with you during the contest.

Stop fighting the moment the opponent submits!

Stop the moment she says she's injured, whether you believe it or not.

Stop the moment you have rolled off the contest surface (be it mat or anything else). Just break and go to the center to resume; a lost advantage is better than a broken bone.

Do nothing that hasn't been agreed to.

Do NOT under any circumstances permit observers to interfere unless there is a security problem. In that case, their interference should signal the end of the contest.

Determine whether the observers are allowed to be vocal (cheering you on, etc.) If they are, set some limits: I personally don't want somebody else's guy calling me a "bitch" for instance while I'm wrestling. Make sure these guys understand what language is forbidden and, if they violate it, stop the contest right there and then.

Never, and I mean NEVER, let the contest get "out of hand". A lot of guys seem to have this fantasy about a wrestling match turning into a fight. Let them go watch video tapes! If for some reason you want to change the rules, stop fighting and talk about it.

If your opponent violates any of these rules, stop the contest and tell her you won't continue under those conditions. If she's persistent or unresponsive, leave. Period.

Venue

You can do this in somebody's home or a motel or gym or anyplace where there's privacy and enough room.

Contests should occur on mats because they're safer. But, if you don't have them and must wrestle on a floor, try to find a soft surface like a couple of mattresses put together. If you're on a rug make sure the material isn't scratchy. Remember, however, that the surface should dictate what you do. Don't throw someone down hard on a rug; you'll hurt her.

If you think the action may get vocal or noisy, have some music playing to drown it out.

Have a specific place where the observers can sit or stand...away from the action.

Okay...that's in general. Now, let's go over the rules and caveats for each form of combat.

Wrestling

This is really the easiest. You get together and wrestle and the winner wins by pinning the opponent for a stated count (I prefer a three count but some use five or even ten) or by forcing a submission.

The match may be started either standing or from the knees. If you're less experienced, you're wrestling on something other than a mat or there isn't much space, start from the knees. In fact, for most recreational wrestlers, I suggest a start from the knees in which you just hug each other and then begin wrestling.

The rest is up to you and you'll learn as you do it.

Catfighting

Catfighting, despite the intimidating sound of the term (and the expression in the pic to the right), can be fun and as safe, if not safer than, straight wrestling. But it must be done properly and with the appropriate opponent.

The first caveat I would offer is: don't ever catfight somebody you haven't wrestled and never catfight an inexperienced wrestler. Experienced wrestlers know how to pull hair without yanking it out and grab you without scratching. They are also calm in combat and won't let things get out of hand.

You'll learn how to do these additional things when you start fighting but I'll cover a couple now.

Fight to submissions or pins just like a wrestling match. Don't fight until somebody can't continue; that's too dangerous.

Usually, the three catfight techniques are hair pulling, slapping and breast grabbing. You can include any or all of these in the fight but both of you must consent to them beforehand.

Surprising as it may seem, the most dangerous of these techniques is actually the hairpull. That may be because it's the a beginner may be most familiar with (from Junior High or something when you tried to "yank her hair out by the roots!!!" grrrr). Repress all such tendencies, sweetie! Here you are pulling hair for position not to yank it out. The best way is to combine your hair grab with a push of the palm on the head, making sure your opponent's head will "give" with the pull. (just like you see in this photo). And don't pull suddenly...do it evenly so she has time to react and move with the pull. (The woman on the bottom is doing a picture perfect position hair pull -- you can see she's restraining but not yanking). Practice on yourself to get a feel for how it feels. It's NOT for everyone.

Grab breasts with the fingertips and never dig nails in no matter how short they are. Breast twisting is an extreme maneuver and should probably be avoided unless you both know what you're doing. Just grab them and squeeze if you've included that. In the photo to the right, these rather well endowed ladies appear to be doing something extremely dangerous. In fact, Crystal Films' Maylay (on the bottom) and her lovely opponent are doing it perfectly: their nails are long but, even in the heat of battle, they are kept away from the flesh. No scratch marks here! If you are sure you can do it this way, include breast grab if you want; if you're not sure, do NOT do it. Please!

By the way, see the "safety" section for some information on nails and length and accidental scatches. Remember that these women are experienced in this kind of fighting and they know how to use this technique without scratching. A scratch isn't the end of the world but it can cause discomfort and infection if not treated quickly...so do check the safety section.

Slap with open fingers and short slaps. You can slap full circle to the body if you want but keep the slaps to the face short with the fingers open and loose. If a slap makes you angry, do NOT retaliate. Talk about this beforehand because it's very important -- blows are schocking and shock can turn into anger. This is not a street fight. If you're not sure you can stay calm when hit in the face, don't hit to the face.

Never kick your opponent with a knee. Knees are deadly!

Erotic fighting

The erotic combat page covers this area separately and has its own set of additional rules.

Attire

What you wear depends on what you're doing.

My general rule is to wrestle in as little as you're comfortable with but no less. One piece gym or swim suits are fine as are two piece bathing suits. You should remember that with some bikinis the top may slip off during a match. If you've a problem with that, dress accordingly.

Like it or not yourself, some women like to wrestle topless or nude. If you are one of them, talk to your opponent about it frankly and openly. Many wrestlers will do it without hesitation; some have a big problem with it.

If you're going to catfight, attire becomes a real issue. I don't do street clothes catfights where you rip stuff off but some very good women wrestlers like that. If you do, just don't wear anything good and make sure it rips easily. You could be burned or scratched if the dress resists a rip.

If you're going to breast grab, you've got another issue to face: at some point, she has to bare your breasts. It's very difficult to grab breasts effectively through material and anyway, if you're breast grabbing, there's a reason why and it's probably now consistent with modesty. :-)

My preference would be to start bare breasted. A top that is yanked off can be cumbersome and even dangerous. But, if you want to pull tops off, agree to do that and nothing more (PULEEZE don't choke each other with those things!)

The other issue, interestingly enough, is your feet.

I have a hard and fast rule: I wrestle and fight barefoot and require all opponents to do the same. Many women I know have the same attitude for a very simple reason: shoes are dangerous. Even gym shoes can leave serious bruises on legs after an accidental kick. Of coures, heels in a real match are simply not worn unless you want a broken ankle or an injury from a heel.

I don't like to fight in hose or socks because they're uncomfortable, hot, and scratchy. If, for some reason, you do, go ahead but make sure your opponent has no problem with it. BUT make sure all leg wear is clean -- don't wear to the venue; clean it and put it on right before you begin.

Scenes and Prelims

One of the most frequent questions from women is about pre-match preparations. To wit:

"We're together in the room. The guys are there. We're ready. Now what do we do? How do we start?"

Great question and it is a real issue for many combative women because a scene can greatly enhance the fun of a match and sometimes can be as moving, arousing, and fun as the match itself. While it most often occurs in a rules catfight, scenes can be an issue in a wrestling match as well.

So if you are going to do a "scene" before tangling, you need to PLAN it and treat it as part of the match. As previously indicated, opponents should talk about possible "scenes" -- will you play out some scenario, dress in any special way, argue about something, have some preliminary vignette? Will you be cordial right up to the match or will you "take an attitude" with each other. Will you play out a fake argument or act coldly as rivals?

And even if there's no specific scene planned, there is the issue of preliminaries. What do you do before the match begins? When do you actually start? How will you handle attire? I'm not advocating a complete production here -- I mean, you're there to wrestle not to win an Academy Award -- but scenes and preliminaries are worth at least a few minutes of discussion and agreement.

So...let's talk. :-)

"Bitch!" and Other Preliminaries

Some women (and even more men) like an aggressive build-up while some just can't get into it. Talk it out by phone as you discuss the encounter and go over preparations a couple of times before you actually meet. Most women aren't actresses. If you're going to do a whole scene, you need to talk together to set parameters, explain "attitudes", etc. In other words, no one should be surprised.

If you decide to actually do a build up scene, there are some rules you should be conscious of.

Make clear what your opponent does NOT want to hear. She may be embarassed by allusions to part of her body or offended by racial, ethnic, class or sexual slurs. The best advice is to refrain from using any of these unless both opponents have specifically called for it. A slur too close to home can be painful and can spoil the entire experience.

Are you going to argue over one of the men? (some women do this...some men like this). Well, what's the other man (the guy who isn't the "prize) going to think or feel? Get all that clear.

Finally, decide when you're going to start the scene and how long it will take, more or less. You don't want to walk into a room expecting a cordial greeting and have someone call you names. If the scene will commence the moment you walk into the room, make that clear. Also, your opponent may not want to argue for a half hour, no matter how catty you're feeling at the moment. :-)

In short, NO surprises.

Ready?

As silly as it might seem, how you enter the room for the fight can be an awkward issue.

My preference is for both women to retire the moment everyone is together and then talk over last minute issues and get into the clothing you'll wear to enter the room (which can be your fighting garb or, as is frequently the case, substantially more). Then walk in together.

Any way you do it, you should try to be together most of the time. Don't keep the other person waiting.

The same is true of where you sit (with your observers or together, apart from them) and what you will do before you begin.

But once you're in the room, whether you're planning a scene or not, there are some important issues to be clear on.

You're in Charge!

The women must be in charge of the situation. Giving up control can result in one of you feeling intimidated, pressured, embarassed or even frightened and that will be a very negative experience for both of you. The observers are going to be excited so make clear with both of them that they are NOT to tell you to begin, encourage you to start, ask you when you're going to get going or explain what you should do. They are OBSERVERS and, if they have little pieces of advice, they can impart these before the couples are together.

Once the preparations have begun, observers should have as little verbal contact with the fighters as possible (aside from a "good luck, honey" or a whispered "beat the heck out of her" encouragement). Let the combatants concentrate on what they're about to do.

Second, play your scene any way you want BUT never surprise the opponent with a "let's get started". In other words, the commencement of the match should depend on a signal between combatants.

Why's that, Barbara????

Because one or both of you may be nervous, jittery and need a bit of time to compose herself. Each opponent has a responsibility to give the other that time. Now, if you're trying to get yourself together and she says "Well, let's go." you will either have to start unprepared or risk embarassment by saying "I'm not ready." and looking at the observers' hungry and impatient little faces.

So arrange a signal beforehand. I use the shoe trick mostly. Goes like this:

I usually wear heels or maybe open toe sandals to enter a room for a match and will sit down with them on. I ask my opponent to do the same. Keep the shoes on. And I give her the courtesy (especially if she's less experienced than I) of giving the first signal.

When she's ready, she slips one foot out of her shoe (a common and furtive gesture). If I am ready, I'll do the same. Then, when I slip out of my shoe, she can ask openly if I'm ready and I will respond that I am and we can slip out of the other shoe and...well, whatever else we need to slip out of.

If I don't reciprocate the gesture, she waits until I do. Simple to do without attracting any attention.

And what of the everything else to slip out of?

Stripping Down

You can do this any way you want but you should make clear how it will be done. There are observers and they'll watch every move. My suggestions?

Stand facing each other (albeit maybe not as close as the two to the right) and match each other garment for garment. By agreement, one of you takes the lead. She removes something and the opponent immediately begins doing the same. The leader waits until the opponent has the garment removed before going on to the next garment. Go as slowly as you need to for comfort but don't prolong it. It's not a race but it's not a striptease either. And, of course, don't take off anything that hasn't been agreed to beforehand -- don't play those games.

Keep your eyes on each other. Steer clear of looking over to the observers. This is the time for you to focus. Unless you're playing a nasty scene, smile a bit at her and try to make her feel as comfortable as you can. But make NO comments. Nothing.

When you're both down to whatever you have planned to get down to, nod once to each other and, when both have nodded, come together and assume your starting positions. Nod to each other once more and start. NEVER let the guys say "One, Two, Three...go" or ask if you're ready or anything like that. You two can count and it is absolutely essential that you women control the pace and development of this situation. Essential that you never give control up to either of the observers (male or female).

And then, just start. :-)

Safety

As with any physical activity, you can get hurt wrestling. You probably won't be hurt seriously but it can happen. The point is to avoid anything that is prone to causing injury and to be prepared if, heaven forbid, an injury should occur.

I've seen nothing on the Internet about this and that's probably because it's difficult to write about: I am NOT a physician or an expert in this area. So what I'm going to tell you is based on my experience and common sense.

-- The Basic Preliminaries--

Obviously, the most important thing to do is follow the "rules" I've set out previously because these are oriented to safety. But other than that. Just DO the following. Period. Okay?

Get yourself a good first aid kit and bring it with you to the match. Don't rely on anyone else having one. Buy one, make sure the contents are adequate and keep it with you when you go to wrestle (even practice or possible impromptu matches).

Adequate contents are a good infection treatment, a separate small bottle of alcohol, a good range of curads (bandaids), a selection of wrap-around bandages that fit you (including an ace bandage for elbow, knee and ankle), a sling bandage (I hope I'm not starting to scare you) and a bottle of smelling salts.

Test your surface. Most injuries come from surfaces that are too hard and jarring or much too soft which can can cause twisting of joints. Make sure the fight venue is padded and comfortable to a fall. Test it by falling loosely on it once to make sure. Just flop yourself down with your body relaxed. The surface should feel firm and it should jar you a bit but you should suffer no after-effect on any part of your body. If it doesn't, see if you can at least get a couple of mattresses if no mats are available. If you can't do this, postpone the match and take appropriate measures to get that proper surface.

Make sure the venue room is warm. If you're not sure, take off your outer clothes and just sit there for a few minutes. Are you starting to get cold? If so, make the room warmer. A match room should feel as warm as a Summer's day. I would also turn off air conditioning in most rooms because drafts can be hell on muscles.

Warm up and stretch. You can do this in private but make sure you are warm. You actually don't have to be sweating when you begin but you should be near that point. You know your body -- make it warm and stretch so the muscles feel loose. A cold or tight body will suffer muscle tears and strains much more easily.

Make your body injury proof. Take off all the jewelry (including rings except your wedding ring if you want -- they are fairly safe). Make sure you have NO watches, bracelets or earrings on for the contest.

Deal with your hair because it poses potential problems. If you're going to wrestle straight, make sure your hair is controlled. If it's long, put an elastic around it and pony tail it. Don't bother "putting it up" because that will last about a minute and can be distracting when it comes down. If you're going to catfight, the opposite is true -- let your hair fall loose because that is actually much safer in a pull.

And comb or brush your hair out once shortly before the match. Any little knots in the hair can catch and cause unnecessary pain and even a slight injury.

Cut your nails to the proper (right above the skin's end) point. If you have to have long nails (and some women wear them quite long), use surgical gloves until you become skilled in finger-tip grabs. Like it or not, you can accidently scratch the hell out of someone with long nails and neither of you want that. Same, by the way, for toe nails. Even get raked by a toe-nail on your leg? Cut them appropriately.

Finally, know where the nearest Emergency Room is and make sure both of you know it and have a way to get to it. I don't mean to scare you and this probably will never be necessary but things sometimes happen and when they do, researching the nearest hospital becomes very difficult for a bunch of freaked out people. No?

-- Match Conduct--

Right up front, choose a safe word that you can scream out if you need to stop because of injury. And USE it even if you feel something is about to go wrong (like a muscle feeling as if it's about to displace or hyper-extend).

Listen to me now! If girlfriend says the word while you're wrestling her immediately disengage. Just stop and move away from her two or three feet. Don't even touch her while you're engaged -- the first point is to survey what's happened before you start moving her around. Just move away quickly. No questions asked.

If you notice any blood, visible scratches or any other lacerations stop immediately and apply appropriate first aid. Sometimes you get a scratch or cut and you can go right on fighting but you should first put some ointment or something on it to prevent possible infection.

If you hear any snack, crackle or pop during the match, STOP. Don't ask, "Are you okay?" because if something has gone wrong she may not realize she's hurt or you may not realize you are hurt. Just stop and wait and see if something develops because one of you will feel an injury a few moments after for sure. Then you have to treat it.

Avoid techniques that bend joints backwards. If she is bending your arm or leg in a strange position, use the safe word and call that to her attention. YOU should avoid that kind of craziness as well. That's for trained and experienced fighters. Oh...if you're both trained and experienced, bend her into a pretzel if you want. LOL

If you knock heads by accident (and you probably will, my love) stop and check it you're both okay. Any queasy or dizzy feeling -- it stops right there and you get yourself checked out. You probably have a concussion; that's not the end of the world in most cases but you should check it out.

By the way, if you feel nauseous, stop immediately and see if it settles down. It could be nothing but, if it continues, you should have yourself checked out.

Fight like what you are. Which is, for most of us, a recreational wrestler. Don't jump into the air or do stuff you see professional wrestlers do (like drop kicks); professional wrestlers are highly trained athletes/actors who work in cooperation with each other, using "calls" (to tell each other what they are about to do) and are expert in making a technique look real without causing injury to opponents. You are probably not that. Okay? So, stay on the mat.

Also, avoid sleeper holds and other choke techniques. If you're not both highly trained martial artists, these techniques can be very very dangerous.

Finally, be extremely careful with scissors holds. Never nail a scissors on her neck! You can cause some very dangerous injuries that way.

--The Monthly Issue--

This is an issue that is seldom discussed in public but often raised by women. After all, we are different from men in many ways but a main one is that most of us menstruate once a month until we reach menopause. So the issue is: do I wrestle during menstruation?

The first point is to explore what menstruation actually is because it is NOT the emissions portion of your period. Menstruation is a period of the month that lasts several days and the bleeding only lasts a small part of that time.

That doesn't mean nothing is happening. During menstruation your body is going through several major changes and your reproductive organs are responding to those changes and forcing other changes to occur. In short, my sister, you are DIFFERENT during those days.

Caring for yourself during your period is a major responsibility because it not only affects your health but also your ability to bear children. Okay? Sooo....you must listen to your body here.

Try to avoid scheduling matches during the seven or eight central days of your period. Now that's tough to time, obviously so if you have scheduled a match and you feel changes like loss of energy, bloating, headaches, etc. -- you should probably postpone the match. Some of us feel these changes all the time and, if they are ordinary, use your judgement but postponing a match for a few days is not the end of the world and, if you level with her, your opponent will understand.

NEVER let either of the men pressure you into doing it if you're questioning whether you should. It's your choice.

By the way, avoid any erotic fighting during this time -- it's not dangerous per se (sex is never dangerous during a period) -- but it's fighting and any stress and trauma could complicate things within you.

And I would strongly suggest that you avoid any fighting contact during the time of the actual menstrual emission or if you think it's coming.

--Pregnancy--

The moment you miss your period, stop wrestling. If it's a false pregnancy (and that does happen) you can resume immediately after making sure the false sign isn't symptomatic of some problem. I exercised extensively during both my pregnancies (swimming, working out and even doing some running) but noone was banging her body into mine in those activities. Wrestling is fighting and you don't fight with a growing life inside you, girlfriend.

And you WILL be able to come back and no combative woman will disagree with you. No bridges will be burned. We've had two occasions in Ladies Corner during which active combative women just took off for nine months to give birth. The reaction from all the other women in Ladies Corner was supportive (and of course asking about weight, looks and trying to get photos of the newborns -- I mean we ARE women, right? LOL)

--Going to the Doctor--

Okay...somebody's been injured and you have to go to emergency room. What the hell do you say?

Simple: "My girlfriend and I were horsing around, sort of wrestling, and we got into this hold and I felt....etc." That's all you need to say and the doctor will accept that explanation without any more questions asked and you need answer no more. You need not answer questions about a possible attack because you are not pressing charges. That's it.

Don't know what the doctor will think and who cares? Your health is the priority and the doctor is probably more interested in dealing with the real injury than how it occurred.

Here's a funny story.

A number of combative women are physicians. That's really true and I know and wrestled several times with one here in New York. How did we meet?

About a week after a match, I started feeling pain in my shoulder and I went to my own doctor who referred me to a specialist in that type of injury. She was a woman about my own age (mid thirties at the time) and obviously athletic. I noticed that right up. Very nice lady.

Anyway, she asked me if I had done anything out of the ordinary recently and I told her just what I quoted above about "horsing around". She nodded and smiled immediately. "Muscle hyper-extenstion," she said. "Happens alot when someone tries to free a reverse headlock."

I looked at her and she said, "I know from personal experience."

Then she looked me in the eyes and smirked. "Horsing around, huh?" And we both laughed. After the examination, she said: "Should heal in a couple of weeks. It does for me and we're about the same size, aren't we? Give me a call if it doesn't heal." I nodded and tooke her card.

"In fact, when it does heal if you'd like," she said and actually winked. I nodded again.

Well, the upshot. I called her in three weeks when I was feeling fully healed and she greeted me and asked, "All better?"

"Yep," I said.

"How experienced are you?" she asked and I told her.

"Well then, are you ready for me now?" she asked and she laughed.

I laughed back and said, "Absolutely. Name it."

And she said in one sentence: "Two or three, straight, from the knees, bathing suits, one observer each...this Saturday afternoon?" LOL. You can never tell with those doctors!

Erotic Combat

 Let me put this simply and without apology: if you want to do this, here's how. If not, go on to the next section. Because of its subject matter, this section must include appropriate graphics. This is as it should be but if you are offended by these, please skip the page.

Women who wish to engage in erotic wrestling have the right to know how it's done safely and enjoyably. In fact, that information is all the more critical in this area.

First point: the two "c's" (common sense and consent) that apply to all female combative activities, apply especially to erotic wrestling or "sex-fighting", as it sometimes called. Review all the other sections of this primer before you try this. In fact, it would be helpful to do so before even reading this section.

Ready?

I personally was introduced to erotic combat fairly late and didn't take it very seriously for quite some time. But I met a couple of very good wrestlers who would sometimes do it and, after I tried it, I realized that it can be a very unique experience and very exciting.

With the broadening of "acceptable" (at least to ourselves) sexual options for women, it has become more popular during the last ten years. It is often done by lesbian or bi-sexual combative women and a good percentage of couples into wrestling or catfighting will sometimes engage in it.

I think it's pretty wonderful if you can find the right people and do it safely but if you have a problem with it or are not sexually comfortable with other women, don't do it. That said, let's go on.

Forms

There are basically two types of erotic matches and the difference has to do with the goal sought.

In face straddle matches, the combatants fight to dominate each other (as in a regular wrestling match) but they particularly vie for the top (or face straddling) position. This is also sometimes called "domination wrestling" but I think that name is useless.

In the other, the "sex fight", the goal is to bring the opponent to orgasm during the contest itself.

In all cases, there are some simple rules to follow. (Now, be honest with yourself because I have to get graphic in my explanations here so, if this is too heavy for you, go on to the next section of the primer. Remember, we're into mutual consent here and that includes what you read on this site.)

General Rules

Do it only with other couples or women you know very well and always take precautions.

It IS sexually proximate and, while choosing couples tends to filter out some of the danger of sexually transmitted diseases, you should always protect yourself.

Make her tell you, in no uncertain terms, that she's healthy or "clean" sexually and is sure of it. At the very least, this may remind HER of the inherent dangers.

Depending on the sexual contact that is to occur, use shields and surgical gloves. Check out web sites specializing in sexual health topics for details and don't hesitate to demand such precautions.

When setting up the match, ask about your opponent's sexual orientation.

Lesbians and bisexual wrestlers have no problem telling other women about their sexual orientation and, in general, those are the people you are going to be doing this with. At the very least, make sure she's sexually comfortable with other women.

Some women "try it" only for their men's pleasure and that often turns out horribly for everyone. If that's what your opponent says, request another kind of match for your first encounter.

If its gets too embarassing for either of you, stop it.

Now...specifically...

The face straddle match

is a wrestling match or catfight that continues until one woman is able to securely straddle the other's face. In less prim and proper English, you get your butt or crotch on her face, straddling her torso. This is among the most potentially dangerous forms of female combat because you can cut off her air supply. Even for a split second, this can one of the most frightening experiences a human being can have. So be responsible and follow these rules if you win the straddle position.

Make clear whether a sit will be until a submission or prolonged (until the winner comes or is satisfied).

If it's to be to submission, she submits and you get off her. Period.

If you two want to go further in the sit....

Decide whether it will be a front/back sit or just front.

In most cases, she's going to have to use her tongue on you and so the question is very very pertinent, wouldn't you say?

Give her space!

This is VERY important! If you're straddling her, place yourself about an inch to two inches above her face and let her reach YOU, dipping slightly and in rhythm to meet her. NEVER smother her. That looks great on video tapes but it is so dangerous I can't even fathom it. Smothering means just what it says and you don't want to smother anyone in a fun event. Talk to her and tell her if she's reaching you, etc. You won and you're entitled to the sit but you're also responsible for her well being.

If she says she's having trouble breathing, ROLL OFF immediately.

Don't play games with people's safety. If she says she's having a problem, she's having a problem.

If you lose, do what you've agreed to.

Don't back out after a loss unless it gets too heavy or there is some safety problem. Then just tell her immediately. Don't play with your own safety because she doesn't want that either.

Fight nude.

Well, yeah, I mean what do you think you're doing here? There's nothing modest about a face sit so don't start getting all modest about your clothing. No matter what you see on videos, the safest face sit is done absolutely naked. Garments will scratch her face and make your satisfaction more difficult thereby prolonging the sit unnecessarily (and dangerously). If you fight in bottoms, wear something you can quickly take off before the sit and do just that.

Shower and wash thoroughly before the contest.

It won't prevent sweat and odor but will cut down on those problems.

Get off the moment you've come, are tired, or sense that she's too tired to continue.

Prolonging a face sit can be dangerous and frightening.

By the way, if your face straddle match ends in some other kind of submission, you can (by previous agreement) assume a sit after the loser has submitted. Take your prize, in other words.

Erotic Match

is a contest in which the women are wrestling or fighting to bring each other to orgasm with the loser being the woman who comes first.

There are various forms of "sex fighting". The most popular is a real wrestling match or catfight in which the combatants are allowed, among all the other techniques, to rub each other sexually with hands, thighs or feet...whatever is available. Here too, girlfriend, there are rules!

NEVER and I'm talking Barb's big "N", grab or pull her pubic hair.

It sounds great to some men but you KNOW how dangerous it can be and with people moving around vigorously there's no sure way of controlling how hard you do it. So don't do it! Ever.

Never insert fingers into the anus or vagina.

You want someone's fingers in there while YOU are thrashing about? Emergency Room city!

Never slap, punch or kick someone's crotch.

I don't even have to explain that one.

Have an alternative way of winning.

In other words, if one of you submits with any hold, the match is over. It's actually advisable not to fight only until an orgasm for a simple reason: no matter what the fantasy stories say (or what your man firmly believes) it is very very difficult to make another woman come during a wrestling match. And, if that's the only way to win, you may be in for a very long, exhausting, possibly boring and even harmful match.

If you come, admit it immediately.

It's often tough to tell if another woman has come, so don't take it for granted that she knows you did.

If you sense that she has, ask her right then and there.

Some people find it difficult to say "I just came" in the middle of a wrestling match. She'll tell you if you ask.

If you don't trust yourself or the opponent to follow these rules, don't fight.

Other "sex fights"

I've been asked through hundreds of email messages to address other forms of sex-fighting on this site. The problem is that most of these aren't really wrestling. For some people, sex-fighting is really nothing more than a kind of sexual competition to see who can make the other come first.

One such contest involves kneeling facing each other very closely, holding her around the back with your left hand and using your right hand to masturbate her. She does the same. The one who comes first loses.

There are variations. Grinds, like the one on the right, or even the use of feet as the primary tool of masturbating.

Because these contests involve no physical combat, I have no real rules for them. This is not to say they aren't "fights" because they can involve some strategy (avoiding a direct rub to your clitoris while trying to rub hers directly, for example). They can also involve "trash talk" or scenes ("Let's see who the better woman really is, bitch!" LOL)

But since they're not wrestling or fighting, they pose very little danger and I don't think I have to tell you how to do it -- it's pretty natural, seems to me. I want you to do this if you want to but there's not much more I can say about it here.

Getting Her to Try It

A good percentage of my email comes from men who fantasize about watching their mates wrestle.

For a man who is into watching women fight, this fantasizing is natural, logical and worthy of encouragement -- after all, at its best, it represents a desire to involve the woman they love in the activity they fantasize about.

.. Of course, the problem is that, in a fantasy, the participants are fantasy figures. In life, they are real women with their own desires, taboos, fears, upbringing and fantasies...and the right to freely choose whether they want to share someone else's.

My gut reaction to the email questions is that everything depends on the quality, character and background of your relationship.

I cannot offer generalized advice -- that would be highly irresponsible. But based on my own experience and that of many women I know, I can offer some general thoughts on the topic and that's what this page is about.

Rules

Let's say you're an avid female combat fan and you think the woman in your life might actually wrestle at some point. How do you broach the topic and encourage her to do it?

There are three rules in my book: honesty, sensitivity and support.

Honesty

Of course, every relationship should be built on honesty. If yours is, read on. If it isn't, maybe it's time to start but this might not be the best way to break the cycle of deceit. If you routinely talk about your feelings, reactions, and problems, then I think your relationship can handle an exploration of this interest.

Couple of things up front and they may surprise you.

Most of the women I have wrestled actually began doing it because their men were into it and many, if not most, of them continue to do it in part because it pleases him.

Doing things for each other is the essence of a relationship. It's what concretizes love. But no partner should ever be pressured to do something he or she doesn't feel comfortable doing and actually want to do. So the trick is to figure out where she stands on that issue and that's the second general point.

She knows!!! Listen carefully, sweetie. For the most part, if you have a solid relationship, your woman KNOWS or at the very least suspects. This is NOT something a man can easily hide from his woman -- she has caught a glimpse of your materials or your tapes. She has seen your eyes when a fighting scene comes on the television. She has picked up a vibe when a fight between two women comes up in some conversation. She may not completely understand but she has an inkling...believe me, she does.

Additionally, she knows YOU and, even if she's turned off to the whole idea, she's smart enough to realize that this particular fantasy isn't the entire you. She deals with you intimately every day; you're a central part of her life. The fact that you get turned on by women fighting isn't going to change much of that in the long run, IF your relationship is a solid one.

Almost every friend I have with whom I've shared my wrestling (including lots who don't wrestle but know me well) react when I first tell them this way: "God, (husband's name) would just LOVE to see that!" LOL Are you kidding me...we KNOW, big guy, we know.

Coming Clean

So the first step is to talk about it. Don't make it a ceremony. Wait until you're both relaxed and alone and bring up some incident you saw in real life or on television and tell her it really had an effect on you. If she expresses an interest in that, talk about your feelings. Don't to overboard. Be calm and reassuring but be as frank as you can.

In most cases, your woman will ask questions because much of this will be new to her. Her experience with female combat is probably a couple of "girl fights" she saw in High School or the time she and her sister had a hair-pulling match. As far as wrestling goes, the only thing she's really seen may be professional wrestling on television. You'll have to explain the difference and she will be surprised to know that all over the country real couples, with kids and houses and lives, do this routinely.

If the conversation stops, let it drop. She may have to assimilate a few things now. She'll probably bring it up again soon enough because she realizes it's important to you or she may be intrigued by it. At the very least, however, it will be out in the open and you WILL feel a hell of a lot better.

And she may very well be pleased that you told her because it's important to a woman to have her husband honestly reveal his intimate feelings to her. It demonstrates trust and the confidence that she will not be insensitive to what is, in fact, a vulnerable part of your psyche.

At some point, if she's asking lots of questions about what really happens, you may want to offer to watch a video together so she can see for herself. Pick one you like but that you feel won't scare or intimidate her...one that is representative of the kind of wrestling you think she might do.

If she wants to watch the tape, do so together and then let it drop unless she pursues it immediately.

Sensitivity

Now, you have to be a bit patient. Understand that fighting, for most women, is a deprogrammed act. It's not something we learn to do as kids nor is it something our society encourages us to do as adults. Quite the opposite. It is usually foreign and strange to us at first.

She may even get a bit distant for a day or so or seem preoccupied. If so, talk about it. Ask her if it turns her off and get her to talk about the feelings.

For some couples, it stays there. Nothing much more is said. It's an accepted reality and not all that important to the relationship. For some, there is more talk, more video tape watching and the entire thing stays in the realm of fantasy but at least it's a shared fantasy.

In many cases, though, your mate may be intrigued. You've presented her with another option for her self-image. She may start thinking, could SHE do this? What would it feel like? How would it happen?

Answer any questions she poses being especially sensitive to the fear and initimidation any new experience, particularly one as vigorous and physical as this one, might have.

But, after a while, you should tell her you would love to watch her wrestle another woman -- in fact, if you've fantasized about a particular one, level with her about it.

My first husband told me he had fantasized about me wrestling my sister (three years younger) in a our bedroom. I couldn't stop laughing for a few minutes but, as I thought about it, I realized that it was entirely plausible. My sister was the only woman, up to that time, I had ever rough housed with and, as kids, we had gotten into a couple of pretty vigorous fights. I would feel comfortable with her. Would SHE do it? That was the thought pattern.

Anyway, it's now completely her call. If she takes you up on this, go for it. If not, at least the seed was planted and the air is clear.

I have an added caveat here: Never encourage your wife to fight someone she hates as her first match. In fact, if she brings it up, strongly discourage her and refuse to participate in it. Contrary to what's frequently said, especially on the Internet, a real fight is a horrible experience for women and I know NO women (including experienced combative women) who feel good about real brawls they may have gotten into. It's demeaning, ugly, chaotic, and potentially very dangerous.

So stay away from that option. Your woman should wrestle a friend or someone's she neutral about.

Support: Setting It Up, etc.

If your wife wants to wrestle, the process is quite simple. Have her log on to this site and really read it. We do the site for her and women like her. Encourage her to follow the rules, the etiquette and the clothing suggestions. I'll only add a couple of points for you.

Help her in any way she wants. Answer her questions about what YOU want. But try hard to keep the pressure off and try not to bud in too much. Let her make her contacts and bring you in at the appropriate moment. Let her take her time. Be patient.

You will definitely want to talk to the opponent and especially HER man before setting up a meeting.

There's a phenomenon I diplomatically call the penis substitution in which the two guys start bragging about how tough their woman is and what she's going to do to the other guy's woman, etc. Stay away from this crap and monitor the other man for overly aggressive or anti-female attitudes. Does he sound like he loves his wife, for instance or does he refer to her in derogatory terms? Does he seem to have a hidden agenda? Does he suggest getting them together and tricking them into doing something they have not agreed on?

If any of this happens, tell your wife and suggest she decline the match. It's trouble, my friend. You should demand of the other man the same honesty and sensitivity you have shown. You'll find that the couples who will give you a good match will have these qualities in excess -- that's why they are still together and doing this.

Paying for a Match

There are many women who will wrestle your woman for a fee. Several sites offering such services are on my links page.

If she has no problem with it, this is absolutely acceptable and, for the first couple of matches, may be advisable. Paid wrestlers are skilled and experienced for the most part and they know how to conduct a match safely and sanely. They will usually be very supportive of your wife privately and will tailor their techniques to her skill level. These women are often world-class wrestlers. They have nothing to prove, have done this many many times and are usually interested in helping other women get involved.

The match will be much better and your wife will emerge more confident and more knowledgeable.

In any case, the discussions and preparations are about the same for paid wrestlers as for recreational opponents. The ladies will need to talk some things over and the paid wrestler may well insist on that before committing herself or even establishing a fee.

You should make sure the paid wrestler is about your wife's size, by the way. A much bigger opponent will be a huge downer for her. Many paid wrestlers won't even take such a match.

Expect to pay a couple of hundred dollars for an hour in most parts of the country and take care of the payment privately with the other wrestler. Don't flash money around in front of your mate -- it makes things a tad less comfortable usually.

Photos and Videos

Visual records of a match are fine and even enjoyable after a couple of matches but don't do them during the first match. It can be very intimidating for a woman to know that she is being recorded doing something she's unfamiliar with and unskilled at. How would you feel about someone shooting a video of you learning to do a new sport or to drive or to ski, etc.? Alright then.

Besides, the idea here is for her to continue doing it and, if she does, you'll have plenty of much better material on tape in the future.

Aftermatch

After the match happens, you should immediately take some time to be alone with your wife and talk about it. Ask her how she felt, what she liked and disliked.

Tell her how much you enjoyed it (and you'll enjoy it, believe me) and thank her for giving you such a wonderful treat.

Let HER bring up the possibility of another match. If she doesn't, you should probably drop it for quite a while. Usually, she will say right out that she would like to do it again.

Because, for most women I've met, the first match hooks them. They are now combative women and they have you to thank for that...you and the opponent they faced.

Then make sure you give that wonderful woman a huge hug, big kiss (and you know the rest). You both deserve it.

Fighting FAQ

I get a lot of email from women asking questions and, while I can often just refer them to the material on this site, there are some questions not answered specifically in any of the other sections of this tutorial.

So I include this page as a section (constantly updated) of questions and answers: what we call a FAQ on the Internet. Email questions and I'll try to answer them.

Okay, sweetie, you're first. :-)

I want to get into wrestling and my husband (or boyfriend, etc.) suggested that I wrestle an old girlfriend of his. I don't think we're real hostile to each other, just not friends. But he thinks this would be a good match. What do you think?

I think it's a potential disaster. Even if you have no hard feelings toward her, she may have them toward you and, in any case, there is almost always an edge of competition between women from different periods in a man's life. Maybe it shouldn't be but it usually is.

Fighting a woman with a grudge is a bad idea. The match won't be fun because you're doing it with someone who's not fun for you to be with. You have no idea what she actually has in mind as "fun". The guy may think he'll have fun but he could end up with an abusive match or one that gets out of control. Even if it's cleanly fought, whatever bad feelings there are will simply escalate and why would anyone want to make anybody else feel worse than they already feel?

Tell him to read a story about it with pictures and find yourself a friendly or more neutral opponent.

My (fill it in) has a fantasy about me wrestling my sister. We're close and we've had fights in the past as kids. What do you think?

If you feel safe with your sister and she wants to, go for it. I've had some real doozies with my own sister! Sister matches are often the most enjoyable and memorable because they combine the natural rivalry between siblings with the love and care that sisters have for each other (if their relationship is good). She'll fight you hard but she'll never try to hurt you -- if you feel this is true of your sister, accept the challenge by all means.

I want to start wrestling and my guy wants to watch me but I have a problem. He wants to see me wrestle in a bathing suit and I don't think I'm in very good shape and, to be honest, I don't think my body is attractive enough to show that way. What do I do here?

The issue is not what you look like, it's whether you're in condition to do this. If you feel you are (and it really doesn't take all THAT much conditioning to start), the issue you have is a common one among women: body self-hatred. The only women I have met who aren't critical of their bodies in some way are all on American On Line (LOL). Don't get me started on MY sagging little number!

The fact is that we are conditioned to look at models as the ideal female body but those women are professionals whose bodies ARE their tools of the trade and they have conditioned those bodies (through work, pain, even consmetic surgery and, in my opinion, some risk) to look like what men are taught is the ideal female body. Most of us, genetically, can't even look like that!

How can there be an ideal body among human beings? Each of us is different. If you're in good enough shape to wrestle, you're good enough to look at as you do it.

My advice? Find an opponent and talk frankly with her about this issue and hear what SHE has to say about her body. I'll bet the conversation will make you feel like you're a beauty queen. And, once you two are wrestling, you won't give ONE thought to what you look like. Trust me.

I'm talking to a woman about a match and something has come up. I am almost sure she's a lesbian and I'm not. I'm embarassed about my feelings because I don't consider myself prejudiced but, to be honest, I'm a bit queasy about this. Should I just ignore these feelings?

Absolutely NOT. You should never ignore hesitations you have about an opponent. It's a shoe-in for a bad experience and it's a great disservice to her. Additionally, it would be an act of disrespect toward this woman.

If you find this one attractive as an opponent and want the match, you should talk to her about your feelings. Be respectful and sensitive but be honest with her. Lesbians are women, after all, and they feel a lot of the same things. They understand feelings of intimidation and nervousness and, in terms of reactions, they have doctorates in dealing with this society's biases and prejudices. No lesbian is going to be surprised that you express these feelings. She's seen it over and over. And, in my experience, most tend to be sensitive and understanding when discussing it and grateful that you've shown the confidence and respect to bring it up.

Now, you don't specify this here but there is a prejudice about lesbians that, once they touch another woman, it's eros city and that is simple sexist myth.

I've wrestled a LOT of lesbians. In my experience, they are much more respectful of sexual boundaries than many straight people. They tend to be extremely respectful of other women's feelings, fears, and limits. They are less initially intimidated by "touching or grabbing" another female body (and you KNOW about THAT intimidation in a straight woman). And, most of all, there's no problem with them being competitive or showing bodies in front of men because they don't care what the guys are thinking. :-) They tend to compete just to compete.

In fact, in my experience, lesbians don't DO erotic wrestling with straight women because that would constitute a violation of their current relationship -- see that's NOT the case with women married to men, is it? The only time I have been sexually touched by an opponent non-consensually during a match was with heretofore "straight" women who suddenly discovered something about themselves during the battle. :-)

You know what? The single best straight wrestling match I have ever seen in person was between a lesbian couple. The BEST and there wasn't an erotic move in the whole match!

This is silly but it bothers me. You talk about wrestling barefoot but I think my feet are really ugly! Shouldn't I wear socks or something?

You can if you want but they're sweating and slippery. I could wax eloquent about body hatred and all that but that doesn't mean crap in the real world, does it? Listen, a bit of girlfriend advice on the footsie issue. Take a couple of weeks to rub oil on your feet at the end of the day. Give yourself a very warm foot bath every day and then do your nails in bright red! LOL You'd be surprised what a bit of color can do! And consider yourself lucky. I hate my boobs and, when I wrestle topless, no make-up can cover those saggers! LOL

I grew up prim and proper, Barbara. Do most women who wrestle come from a tough background?

Actually, most combative women I know have never been in a street fight in their lives. Now, there are some who have. Some who grew up tough. And maybe the ones I know aren't representative but I know some very very well known combative women. Most of them grew up without much violence in their lives. The fact is that street fighting is not necessarily preparation for wrestling or even rules catfighting. A street fight is an adventure in frenzied viciousness and there's very little strategy involved. This is completely different.

Just get the rules straight and agree to them. If you want to do it, you are going to do it NOW so the past has very little relevance. You'll learn as you do it.

Be honest with me. I'm in my forties and I'm thinking of starting wrestling. Is that too old?

Honestly? Only if half the combative women I know are too old. :-) Over 70 percent of the members of Ladies Corner on this site (that's over 100 real combative women at this point) are in their later thirties and forties. A couple are in their fifties. They ALL wrestle, honey. Several had their first matches when they were past 40. This is absolutely true.

This isn't an athletic career. You take one match at a time and you do the next one if you want to or stop when you don't want to go on. You're at your prime in many ways, with the most self-confidence and self-assurance you have probably ever had. You may be as close to being content with yourself as you've ever been. If you want to, this is THE time to start.

I really want to do a rules catfight and I have this really neat woman who wants to fight me. But I'm a bit scared by it because I'm not sure how far to go and what it's going to be like. What do you suggest?

Ask her to straight wrestle a fall with you to get acquainted with each other's bodies and strength and to get a feel as to whether you're a good match. After that, you can take a few days to consider it or even retire to another room (if you're in front of observers) and talk about whether you want to fight. Be honest and she'll respect that. Maybe she won't want to do much more than a straight match at that point anyway. But it's a great ice breaker and a great safety device.

I had a wrestling match, not my first but I haven't had that many. We were wrestling and I started to get aroused and I actually had an orgasm (at least I think I did). This really has me freaked because it wasn't what I wanted and I'm afraid the other girl realized it? Now I want another match with her but...I mean...

You had a perfectly natural experience that some women have at times and trying to explain it or predict when it might recur has no value. You were physically close to another body and moving intensely and feeling strong emotions and that's a mix that can become eroticized. It has happened to me, to opponents and to all kinds of women I know. It's really no big thing and nothing to be concerned about or ashamed of and it probably won't recur with this opponent anyway.

If you think she noticed (and she probably did, to be honest) talk to her about it and express what you just did to me. She'll probably be grateful for the trust you have placed in here.

And listen, some women would give anything to have at least an occasional orgasm with another person so maybe you should consider yourself fortunate. LOL

My girlfriend and I had this wrestling match for our husbands. It was lots of fun. But the deal she made with her husband was that, if we did this, he would have an erotic naked wrestling match with my husband. They're both good looking guys and in good shape and everything but I didn't think it would happen. Now it's been scheduled and I'm starting to wonder whether there's something wrong with me because I'm kind of looking forward to it? What do you think?

I think you should send me the address, time and place. ROFL

This DOES occur. There are a couple of women in Ladies Corner who do "couples" matches. I have no idea how often it happens and have no pool for evaluating how many women are turned on by it. I know I personally find the idea really exciting and the two matches of this type I saw (both of which, by the way, were between gay men) were very arousing for me. If they want to, she wants to and you want to, then you know what I'm going to say.

By the way, I think it's a very nice gesture on her husband's part. Give him a big hug and kiss and whatever else follows. :-)

How far into a pregnancy do you think I can safely wrestle?

I think it's an unncessary danger from the moment you miss the period. In fact, I know a couple of experience combative women who, when discussing a match with a new opponent, actually ask if she has missed her latest period. Okay? :-) I'm a believer in full exercise right through a pregnancy but wrestling is trauma activity (you're getting knocked around) and you are carrying a life inside you, girlfriend! Wrestling is great but we have a unique role in this universe: we can give and nurture life. For the time being, it's time to stress that.

What about wrestling DURING your period?

Opinion is divided, actually. Some say you should avoid it at all costs but that really cuts down on scheduling possibilites, doesn' it? I think it depends entirely on you. If you experience major physical change or extreme emotions at some point during the menstruation, you need to avoid scheduling matches around that time and can feel free to cancel if the old bod violates the schedule the day of the match.

The physical change could translate easily into weakness and you could become ill during the match or your body may become very sensitive and you'll experience the opponents' techniques as more painful than they normally are. The emotional thing could mar the experience in many ways (not that you're going to go nuts on her but you'll feel differently and even badly about the match). Medically, there is really nothing dangerous about wrestling during a period but everyone is different. One thing, though, use a non-intrusive mentrual device (not anything you stick into yourself). Just to be safe.

My husband keeps telling me that there are many women who are willing to actually fist fight for their husbands' enjoyment. He says this is what "real fighting women" do. Is this true and what do you think I should do if he asks me?

He's going to ask you, trust me.

I think it's bullshit. I've been into this for over 15 years and know or have spoken with at least a hundred women who are also into it. I've never met one who fistfights for her husband's pleasure. I'm sure they exist but they are NOT many. Some women do it for money in front of a camera (like with Crytsal Videos) but I doubt very much that he actually knows many women who do.

You want my frank opinion about him? You asked so I'll tell you. I think he's either dangerously out of touch with reality or extremely selfish or pathologically interested in getting you hurt. I think you should reconsider your relationship with him if he actually asks you and, in any case, I think you should ask him why he keeps telling you this. I think you're in a troubled situation and I don't think he really cares about your safety.